


amazing warlock/genius

by oh_la_fraise



Series: no sleep till [1]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 16:02:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13955082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_la_fraise/pseuds/oh_la_fraise
Summary: “I worked all weekend.  And I figured out what the hell is wrong with Garroway.  He’s a werewolf!”“A what?”“His nemesis,” Jake clarifies.“Your . . . nemesis is a werewolf,” Captain Holt repeats slowly.





	amazing warlock/genius

**Author's Note:**

> Awhile ago, Menckens Chrestomethy and I had a conversation about what a B99/Shadowhunters crossover would look like. I have run out of ways to procrastinate, so I challenged myself to a quick write, which resulted in whatever the hell this is.

It starts like this: Jake is on his way to pick up new pens for Amy (“I can’t write our thank you notes with _stick pens_ , Jake _!”),_ so he’s not even on duty when he finds a kid chugging what he is almost 110% sure is a _literal_ bloody Mary in an alley behind a sketchy bar.   He sighs, reminds himself that being a cop is what led him to meet the love his life and gives him purpose, etc., etc., and heads into the ally.  “Kid?” he says, and the kid looks up, too startled to even run. And he’s got, well, actual vampire fangs, so that’s new. _Dracula!_ Jake’s mind screams, followed by a more Amy-like voice that says _vampires aren’t real, Jake,_ followed by a Terry like voice that says _vampires can’t be in sunlight._

 The kid smiles, blood dripping down his chin, and that’s.  Well. “It’s tomato juice?”

“Even if I believed you, are you old enough for the vodka?”

The kid smiles wider. 

Jake sighs.  “C’mon.”

~

Terry’s on shift when he brings the kid in, and he raises an eyebrow at Jake.  “Writing thank you notes that bad?”

The kid perks up, looking at the ring on Jake’s hand.  “You just got married? Mazel, man!”

“Thanks, kid—“ and that nagging feeling, besides the fact that he’s just arrested a vampire, finally clicks in the back of his mind.  “Holy shit, you’re Elaine Lewis’s kid! I used to babysit you during Bachelorette Bingo at the Synagogue on 87th.”

The kid’s eyes widen.  “Jakey Peralta? Holy sh— _crap,_ man!  How you been?”

“Beside the fact that my influence caused a kid I watched on Friday nights to become a cannibal?  Not bad!”

A _what,_ Terry screams in the background.

~

Simon makes his one phone call and then goes to clean up in the station bathroom.  After, Jake lets him chill at his desk. They catch up on the old neighborhood, and by the time someone arrives to bail him out, Simon has mostly convinced Jake he was drinking some new age drug all the goth kids are trying these days.  

To Jake’s surprise, it’s not Elaine or the bratty redhead who was always attached to Simon at the hip that comes to pick him up.  Instead, it’s Detective Garroway from the 92. Terry, who has been watching the whole debacle somewhere between amusement and mild fear, bristles.  He doesn’t quite get Terry’s years old beef with Detective Garroway, but Jake’s smaller brain had tended to prevail when it came to Luke since he’d seen him shirtless at the NYFD football game years ago—Jake honestly had no idea what he was like as a person at this point.

Luke seems disturbingly nonchalant that his ward was doping and/or drinking blood, but he’s a good guy, so Jake trusts that he’s in good hands.  Jake prepares to return to his pen journey, but before he can leave, Terry blocks his exit. “That was _weird,_ right?  Garroway is weird.”  

Jake sighs.  “Just because he’s your sworn enemy or whatever, doesn’t mean it was anything more complicated than a dumb kid doing some dumb shit and his cop goddad covering for him.”

Terry shakes his head.  “Something is _off,_ here.”

~

After regaling Amy with the story, Jake mostly forgets about the Simon incident for the rest of the weekend, finding much more pleasurable things to do with his wife instead.  When they come into work the next Monday, Terry is wild-eyed, and wearing the same shirt Jake last saw him on. “Jake!” he scream-whispers. “Jake!"

“Why is Sergeant Jeffords screaming at you?” the Captain asks, suddenly appearing behind Jake.  Jake does not scream and jump into the air at all.

“Uh. . .”

Terry, apparently tired of waiting for Jake, bounds over.  And wow, there is some _stank_ there.  “When was the last time you showered?”  

“I _worked_ all weekend.  And I figured out what the hell is wrong with Garroway.  He’s a werewolf!”

“A what?” 

“His nemesis,” Jake clarifies.

“Your . . . _nemesis_ is a werewolf,” Captain Holt repeats slowly.

Terry nods.  “I followed him.  I saw him eating dinner with a wizard—“

“Warlock,” Gina says from where she’s also suddenly there.  “Detective abs is friends Magnus Bane. He’s the high warlock of Brooklyn, and we have _serious_ twitter beef.”  

Terry slaps the table.  “Your nemesis is friends _with_ my nemesis!”  

“Wait, what?” Jake asks at Gina, as Terry continues—“I followed him, and he turned into a _wolf.”_

“A wolf,” Captain Holt repeats.

Terry bounces so hard his boobs shake.  “I’ll _prove_ it.”

~

So yeah, turns out monsters are real, and busting into a sketchy Chinese restaurant in the middle of a werewolf pack dispute is _not_ a great idea.

~

“Hey, you’re Gina’s friend,” Jake says woozily from where “Magnus Bane, high warlock of Brooklyn,” is healing him.  

Gina, who now has a sparkly rainbow unicorn horn jutting out of her head, is beside him, violent orange light emitting from her hands and circling the stab wound in Rosa’s arm.  “He wishes,” she says.

Magnus rolls his eyes.  “She’s less than a century old, yet she challenges me for the High Warlock title every six months without fail.”

“Excuse you, I _totally_ won once.”

“I let you get by on a technicality so I could go to the beach guilt-free for a week.”

“Sore loser,” Gina hums.  

“Watch it, rookie.”  Magnus mutters, his magic sinking into Jake’s head.  “I will turn him into a warthog.”

“ _Please don’t,”_ Jake says, at the same Gina shrugs and says “I’d be okay with that.”

The tiny woman in high heels comes up—Izzy, Jake had her called.  “Magnus—Oh, hey,” she says, looking at Rosa.

“Hey,” Rosa says, smiling back, and wow, this is much more terrifying than the werewolves.

~

“So. . .you’re actually a vampire,” Jake says, looking at Simon.  Simon shrugs. “Does your mom know?”

He pales, somehow.  “Oh god, Jake, please don’t.  You can’t tell my mom.” And well, the more things change, the more they stay the same, Jake supposes.


End file.
